Gareki in Wonderland
by Smochida
Summary: Gareki is bored sitting in his room when he finds Nai frantically running about searching for Karoku. Gareki chases after the odd acting niji and after a trip down a rather out of place rabbit (or niji) hole, he finds himself in a place where everyone's lost their minds. *cough* wonderland *cough*
1. Down the Niji Hole

**Authors Note: So I decided to be THAT person who did the Alice in Wonderland Fanfiction. Please don't judge me though. This is going to be multi chaptered and I'm hoping to get maybe 1 chapter up a week but I guess we'll see. ANYWAY... I'm planning on adding in as many Karneval characters as possible. Sorry there's not very much dialogue in this chapter as well but yknow... And with that I guess I should say hope you enjoy and stuff...**

It was another boring day of doing nothing in particular and Gareki was beginning to grow rather bored of sitting alone in his room, having absolutely nothing to do. Once or twice he had tried forcing himself to read a book, but it had contained nothing of interest, "what is the point of a book," he thought, "if it contains nothing worth reading?"

So he was considering, in his own mind (as well as he could, for the boredom he felt was making him feel very sleepy and stupid), whether the pleasure of going for a walk would be worth getting up from his rather comfortable position in his chair, when suddenly a familiar child with white hair and red eyes ran past his door.

There was nothing _very_ remarkable in that, as he assumed the niji was merely playing hide and seek with Tsukumo or the sheep, nor did Gareki think it so _very _much out of the way to hear the niji call "Karoku? Kaaarokuu!" in a sing song voice. But, when the niji took a watch from his pocket and looked it, and then hurried on, Gareki started to his feet, for it flashed across his mind for not only did the niji not own a watch, but he was once again searching for the man that Gareki was still not entirely sure existed.

Gareki threw on his coat and shoes in a hurry and chased after the child. He had turned around a sharp corner just in time to see the niji jump down a large and rather out of place hole in the middle of the floor.

"NAI?!" Gareki called down into the hole "Are you alright?" When he received no response he jumped down into the dark hole without second thought and without once considering how he was ever going to get out again.

Gareki had found himself falling down what seemed to be a very deep well which made absolutely no sense as he had previously been on an airborne ship. Either the well was very deep or he had been falling incredibly slowly for he had plenty of time to look at his surroundings and reflect on the potentially fatal decision he had made in a split second. First he had tried to look below him so he could give himself a small amount of warning for when he would hit the bottom, but it was too dark to see anything. He then looked at the sides of the well, and noticed that they were covered with cupboards and bookshelves: here and there he saw maps and pictures hung from strings that weaved between the shelves. "if I hit one of those lines I'll be sliced in half" Gareki thought.

Down, down, down. Would the fall never end? "I wonder how many miles I've fallen by now?" he said aloud. "I wonder if I could hit the centre of the Earth, or if I'll fall right through and come out the other side". As Gareki just realised what he had just said, he scolded himself. "I am NOT turning into an idiot like Yogi!"

Down, down, down. There was nothing to do in this bottomless hole and Gareki soon found himself dozing off when suddenly he found himself lying in a pile of sticks and dry leaves and the fall was over.

Gareki was not the slightest bit hurt and as he sat in the pile for a moment longer, the suspicion that he had died in the fall crept into his mind. Gareki dragged himself to his feet and brushing himself off, he looked up, but it was all dark overhead: before him was a long passage, and the niji was still in sight, hurrying down it. There was not a moment to be lost: away went Gareki like the wind, and was in time to hear the niji mutter to himself, as he turned a corner, "I'm sorry Karoku, I'm going to be late" He was close behind when he turned the corner but the niji was nowhere to be found.

Gareki searched the hall for the niji and he eventually came across a small door, roughly the size of a large book, and wondered if the niji had escaped the hall through there. He kneeled down in front of the door and twisted the miniature knob, it was locked. Gareki stood up and pondered what he should do. Not a moment later, Gareki had driven his foot into the small doorway and sent the miniature door flying. The doorway opened up to a incredibly small passage, similar to the one he had chased the niji in before he disappeared, which then led to a very bright garden. Gareki longed to get out of this dingy hall and into the fresh air. He looked at the doorway; "even if my head fit, there would be not fitting my shoulders in, more or less my waist" he thought to himself.

There was no use waiting by the hole he had caused in the wall, so he decided he would wander around the hall, hoping there would be another, larger, unlocked door for him to escape from this room from. He soon came upon a rather short table with a small cake and a note bearing the words "eat me" upon it. Gareki picked up the cake to inspect it closer. It didn't appear poisonous even though it was a sickly pink colour, he brought it to his nose to smell and he realised it smelled distinctly of the inside of Yogi's room (a strange mixture of honey and strawberries).

Gareki brought the cake to his lips, still a little hesitant to eat it, and took a small bite. It was good. It tasted like the deserts that Tsubaki would occasionally make. Gareki found himself light headed and slightly dizzy, which he assumed to be from the nostalgia of tasting something that reminded him of home, but was soon informed that his light-headedness was caused by him rapidly growing as his head hit the ceiling.

A wave of panic crashed over Gareki as he realised what had just happened. The suspicion that he had died and had been transported to the afterlife grew on him again. "Dammit" he thought "now my foot wouldn't even fit through the doorway" Gareki searched around him once again looking for a way to escape the god awful hallway. Garekilooked into the rafters above him, desperately searching for some kind of window or skylight. His search for an escape proved unsuccessful but instead he came upon a small shelf, almost too conveniently placed in front of his face. On the shelf sat a small bottle (which seemed tiny to Gareki as of his recent growth spurt). The label of the bottle read 'drink me' in dainty little letters. Gareki removed the cork with a _pop _and smelt the liquid inside, the bottle of strange, clear, liquid was even more suspicious than the cake but Gareki soon came to the conclusion that if the cake had not killed him (although he was most likely already dead) , the strange drink would not either.

Gareki drank the meagre amount of liquid waited. He found the drink to be very nice (it had, in fact, a sort of mixed flavour of cherry- tart, custard, pine-apple, roast turkey, toffee, and hot buttered toast).

Gareki had expected to feel light headed and dizzy again but instead, as he shrunk, his head ached like his brain was being crushed by his shrinking skull. After a several minutes of feeling like his head would implode, Gareki found himself to be much smaller than he had been mere moments before. He guessed himself to be roughly eight or nine inches high, definitely small enough to fit through the little doorway.

His journey to the doorway had taken much longer than expected as he had wandered away from the door after he had kicked it off the hinges. Now that he had shrunk to such a small size, the distance between himself and the doorway felt like miles. When Gareki finally reached the doorway, he peeked inside only to be blinded by the bright light shining in from the outside world. As his eyes adjusted to the light, he noticed the door, which had previously been hinged to the walls, lying in large shards on the floor with a rather large, broken, footprint stamped on several of the pieces. Gareki stepped over the pieces of door and continued down the hall, longing for the fresh air. In his life he had grown accustomed to dark and dingy places, always waiting for nightfall to go outside, but since he had been picked up by circus along with Nai, he had found himself spending more time in the light with happy people. Gareki couldn't believe that he had found being outside in the sunlight more preferable than being in the dark, gloomy hallway which his usual self would have found preferable.

As Gareki stepped out into the sunlight, he found himself once again blinded. When his eyes adjusted to the light, he saw that he was at the edge of a rather large and dense forest which contained several species of plants that Gareki had never seen the likes of in his

"NAI!" Gareki called, "Where are you?" Gareki sighed and kicked at the dirt. He knew what he was going to have to do next. "stupid animal" Gareki thought to himself as he set off into the forest in search of the niji.

**AN: Sorry it was kinda short but I promise there will be more. ****CONSTRUCTIVE ****criticism is****appreciated.**


	2. The Pool of Tears

**Authors note: ****OK so the sheep are acting really out of character in this chapter but I'm just going to blame it on the salt-water frying their systems. This chapters a little boring because most of its quoted since im going off the book. The better chapters are coming I PROMISE! Also, thankyou SO much to for the follows and favorites! THANKYOU SO VERY VERY MUCH. Thanks Salt-the-Catgirl for the everything! And also, AHHHH im so sorry 'guest'! I'm hoping to read it! And without further adieu, I present chapter 2...**

It had been a very curious day for Gareki indeed, for he had followed a curiously acting Nai down a curiously placed hole in the floor and found himself trapped in a very curious hall which led to an even more curious forest. Gareki had shrunk to a very small size (you could say that he had 'ungrown') during his stay in the dark hall and had also lost sight of the niji he had been chasing.

"Where?" Gareki cried "has that stupid animal got to?" Gareki had wandered into the odd forest without any understanding of where he was or where he intended to go. The forest was filled with incredibly large trees and shrubs, each of which was a different colour, hereby creating a rainbow of foliage above his head. Gareki had assumed that most (if not all) of these plants were extremely toxic, therefore if he were to grow hungry, a salad would be _very much_ out of the question.

"What is this place?" Gareki asked no one, "It surely can't be a real place, maybe I _have _died and this is some kind of weird and twisted afterlife" he continued, "or maybe this is how that idiot Yogi sees the world? He always seems to act as if the world is... magical…" Gareki thought for a moment, letting his justification sink in, "WAIT, if I am seeing the world like Yogi does that mean I am becoming Yogi!? Let me think; did I feel like myself when I awoke this morning? If I'm not myself then the next question is; 'who am I?'"

As he said this he looked down at his feet to find himself standing at the edge of a small cliff, at the bottom of which was a rather large pool of water. Gareki stopped hastily, just in time to stop himself from walking right off the edge. "That was a close call" said Gareki, who was quite startled from his sudden discovery. Gareki turned on his heel, facing away from the lake, as to walk in the opposite direction, but something caught on his foot, causing him to lose his balance. As Gareki fell backwards towards the pool he caught a glimpse of familiar rose vines retreating back into the ground. And in another moment, _splash! _he was up to his chin in salt water.

Gareki splashed and flailed in the salty water, attempting to process what had just occurred, with the cliff no longer being in sight. "Wouldn't it be strange to drown here," He said splashing around, "then again, everything has been strange today."

Just then he heard something splashing around in the pool a little way off, so he swam nearer to make out what it was: at first he thought it to be some kind of shark or large fish but he remembered just how small he was now, and he soon made it out that it was only a sheep from second ship that had most likely fallen in like himself.

"Would it be of any use, now," thought Gareki, "to ask the sheep to help me out of this lake? There's no harm in trying." So he began: "Hey, you, do you know how to get out of here?" The sheep looked at him inquisitively, and seemed to him to wink one of its large eyes, but it said nothing.

"Hey! I'm talking to you!" Gareki shouted at the sheep to which he again received no answer. "Their programming language is Japanese isn't it?" thought Gareki, "maybe the water got into its system and it doesn't understand what I'm saying." (For all his knowledge of electronics, Gareki had no very clear notion of how the sheep worked.) So he began again: "おれをたすけて！ばかひつじ！" (_help me! you stupid sheep!)_

The sheep gave a sudden leap out of the water, and began to look at Gareki as if it were offended, which in itself seemed quite strange to Gareki as he thought the sheep aboard 2nd ship were incapable of being offended. "There's no need to be rude!" the sheep cried in a shrill, robotic voice. Gareki did not care that he had offended the animal but he was afraid that his actions may prevent him from reaching the shore sooner.

"Would you like it if I called you a stupid human every time I saw you?" the sheep asked angrily, its robotic voice full of odd sounding passion.

"I wouldn't care in the slightest" Gareki retorted, suppressing a laugh at the sheep's offence. Gareki was afraid that he had offended it again as the sheep had turned around and had begun swimming in a different direction. Gareki sighed, "Look, I'm sorry for being rude, please help me to the shore, _Mr Sheep_" Gareki had said the last words through gritted teeth and a forced smile. When the sheep heard this, it turned around and swam slowly back to him; its face was stony, and it said with a low trembling voice (as if it were about to cry), "Let us find the shore and you can apologize to me properly there."

It was high time to go, for the pool was beginning to feel quite crowded, even though it was quite large, with other robots that had presumably fallen in it. When they had reached the shore Gareki had counted that there were five sheep in total (which had also been found splashing around in the water). Gareki had also taken note that each sheep was wearing a different colour cape and hat.

The sheep all looked somewhat out of sorts- their bedraggled wool clinging to their slightly obscured clothing, and all were dripping wet, cross, and uncomfortable. The first question, of course, was how to get dry again; the sheep had a consultation about this but it lead to no possible conclusion. Gareki had quite a long argument with the sheep wearing blue, who had become sulky and had blamed the presence of the lake on Gareki. This Gareki would not allow, and asked the sheep how it had been his fault, to which the sheep replied "THEY'RE YOUR TEARS! THEREFORE IT IS YOUR FAULT!" Gareki was quite taken back by this reply that he fell silent and let the sheep continue their discussion.

At last the sheep wearing purple (the first sheep that Gareki had offended) , called out "Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! I'll soon make you dry enough!" the sheep all sat down in a large ring of which Gareki refused to join.

"Ahem!" said the sheep in purple, attempting to be authoritative, "Are you all ready? This is the driest thing I know. Silence all round if you please! 'William the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, was soon submitted to by the English, who wanted to be leaders, and had been of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria-'"

"Ugh!" said the sheep in blue, with a shiver.

"Excuse me!" said the sheep in purple, frowning. "Did you say something?"

"No, _nothing_!" said the sheep in blue, giggling.

"I thought you did," replied the sheep in purple. "I proceed. 'Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him; and even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found it advisable-'"

"Found _what_?" asked a sheep in red.

"Found _it_," the sheep in purple rather crossly that someone had once again interrupted his story: "of course you know what 'it' means, right?"

"This isn't working!" Gareki yelled at the group of sheep, "What are you, stupid? All he is doing is reciting some stupid history book! Of course we're not going to dry off like this! BAKA HITSUJI!"

The group of sheep had stopped their bickering for Gareki's outburst and all looked very offended. The sheep exchanged a few looks and stood up, turning away from Gareki and began to walk away.

"Where are you going?" Gareki called after them but with his feet still planted.

"Away from you!" One of the sheep called at him.

"But what are you doing?" Gareki yelled.

"_WE_ are going to have a caucus race and _YOU_ aren't invited!" the sheep in purple giggled, having turned to face Gareki before turning back to its friends and running away.

Now Gareki had done it, he was lost, soggy, cold, and _very_ alone. Gareki began to trudge his way through the forest once more. He was cold and miserable and as much as he didn't want to admit it, he was lonely. He had actually wished that the sheep had not run away so that he could have some company in this deed, dark forest.

Gareki was suddenly snapped out of thought at the sound of pattering footsteps. He looked up eagerly, hoping to see the sheep returning to him, but was confronted by a familiar boy with white hair.

Nai was staring at him confusedly, a small amount of fear in his eyes. Gareki was being looked at like he was something completely foreign. "Nai!" Gareki yelled, running towards the boy, actually glad to see him. Nai's face seized up in fear before he turned on his heel and sprinted away from the teenage boy who was chasing him.

"GET BACK HERE YOU STUPID ANIMAL!" Gareki screamed, chasing after the boy.


	3. Advice From a Caterpillar

**Authors Note: aaahhhhh sorry it took a little longer than expected BUT the chapters will be strictly once a week from now on. Lets just blame science for the lateness. ANYWAY, the 'mysterious man with blue eyes and hair' is Karoku... shocking... i know... its just that this is set before Gareki has any idea what Karoku looks like so... ALSO, sorry about all the spelling errors and plot holes so far. Thankyou so much salt-the-catgirl for pointing them out :D and i know i skipped a massive section but its boring and irrelevant and i couldnt think of any characters to fit. so yeah... enjoy?**

Gareki stood, doubled over, arms resting on a large, grey mushroom that stood well above his knees. "stu...pid…anim...al…" Gareki puffed, unable to catch his breath.

The niji had escaped him. Gareki didn't exactly know how he had managed it, as he was both faster than the child, and it would be quite difficult to lose someone in these woods who was standing so near to you… or at least Gareki thought.

Gareki began to stand upright, finally beginning to catch his breath, and took in his surroundings. He appeared to be standing in the middle of a mushroom patch with mushrooms that ranged from just above Gareki's ankles to almost over his head.

There was a particularly large mushroom growing not to far from Gareki, roughly the same height as himself. Gareki wondered, could they be poisonous? Or could they be edible? It surely wouldn't matter if he were dead, would it?

Gareki examined the mushroom closer. It gave no indication that it was poisonous, the again, it gave no indication that it was safe to eat either. It was only a fungi after all.* After Gareki had looked under it, and on both sides, and behind it, it occurred to him that he may as well look and see what was on top of it.

He stretched himself up and looked over the edge of the mushroom, and when he did, his eyes immediately met with the pale blue eyes of a man, sitting on top, arms folded, quietly reading a novel, and not taking notice of Gareki in the slightest.

Gareki recoiled in shock from the man's unexpected presence. "He wasn't there before, was he?" Gareki thought.

The man had pale blue eyes, pale blue hair and wore similarly pale blue flowing robes. The man reminded Gareki of a butterfly, or a very beautiful caterpillar.

The man and Gareki stared at each other for some time in silence until at last, the man rested his book on his lap and addressed Gareki in a dreamlike, sleepy voice.

"Who are you?" the man asked.

"Does it matter?" Gareki returned coldly in an attempt to sound intimidating.

"And what do you mean by that?" questioned the man.

"Well I guess you could say that I'm not myself today, you see…"

"I don't see." The man cut Gareki off.

"Look," Gareki replied in a firm tone, "To be perfectly honest, I think I've died and…"

"You died?" the man cut him off again.

"I think so but…" Gareki started.

"Are you a ghost?"

"No…"

"Are you a vampire?"

"No!"

"Then are you a zombie?"

"Definitely not!"

"Then who are you?" the man questioned.

Which of course brought them back to the beginning of the conversation. Gareki was beginning to become irritated with the man for constantly interrupting him with such pointless remarks. Gareki drew himself up and scowled "You should tell me who you are, first."

"Why?" Queried the man.

Another pointless question. Gareki was certain he would lose his temper any moment now and since this conversation was going nowhere, he turned on his heel and walked away.

"Come back!" the man called after him. "I've something important to say."

Now this sounded promising to Gareki and he turned back, "What?" he glared.

"Keep your temper," stated the man.

"Is that all?" Gareki growled through clenched teeth.

"No" said the man flatly.

For some minutes the man stared at, or rather examined Gareki, until at last he unfolded his arms and spoke, "So you think you've died, do you?"

"Well, yes" answered Gareki.

"When?"

"What?"

"When did you die?"

"Oh, I'd say after I fell down a hole in the floor, of an airborne ship may I add."

"Interesting…" The man sat back in what seemed to be deep thought until he once more picked up his book and began to read.

"Hey!" Gareki yelled at the man. "Are you going to help me or not? Listen here asshole, just today I've fallen to my death, drowned in a lake, I've grown, ungrown, and I can't stay the same size for ten goddamn minutes and I'd _appreciate_ it if you didn't ignore me!"

Gareki stood with his fists clenched at his sides, the sound of his heavy breathing being the only thing to break the silence that followed his outburst.

The blue haired man was the first to speak. "Well," he spoke quietly but firmly, "What size would you rather be?"

"Finally" Gareki thought, "Now we're making progress"

"I want to be taller. I want to be my normal height" Gareki responded.

Gareki waited for the man to speak again. In a minute or two the man placed down his book, yawned, and slid down the side of the mushroom, landing on two feet. The man lazily strolled away into the grass, merely remarking as he went, "One side will make you grow taller, the other side will make you grow shorter"

"One side of what?" thought Gareki to himself.

"Of the mushroom…" mentioned the man, as if Gareki had asked it out loud, and in another moment he was out of sight.

Gareki remained looking at the mushroom for a minute, trying to make out which were the two sides, as it was perfectly round.

Gareki reached his hand out to the mushroom to break of a piece of the edge. "No harm done if I'm dead…" he muttered to himself and set to work on the piece.

Gareki began to feel the pleasant, light headed feeling that accompanied his unnatural growth. It had been quite a while since Gareki had been anything near the right size, it felt quite strange at first, to be normal again, but it had grown on him within minutes.

"There, thats half the plan done" Gareki thought to himself, "Now to find the stupid kid."

Gareki ventured through the forest alone once more, until finally, he broke through the edge of the forest and into the open. He stood at the edge of a large, vibrant, green meadow with a squat, little cottage with smoke wafting from the chimney, sitting in the dead centre.

**sorry about ending it so suddenly but 'dramatic effect'? Next chapter has Yogi, Iva and Tsukumo in it acting really out of character...**

*** I was going to say 'It was only a plant after all' because it sounded sassier but fungi and plants are different... science is ruining my fanfiction...**


	4. Glittery Soup

**AN: I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! Sorry about being kind of, yknow... late... but things are finally beginning to speed up, both in the story and in real life so in a few weeks I'll be delivering these more often. Sorry about Tsukumo by the way. There was nothing I could do. Even Gareki realised she was out of character. But I personally think I hit the nail on the head with Iva. Anyway... here you go...**

* * *

For several moments Gareki stood looking at the house curiously standing in the middle of the field, wondering what to do next, when suddenly, a rabbit from first ship came running out of the woods, and rapped loudly on the door of the house with its fluffy white paw. The door was hastily opened by a sheep who instantly began speaking in a very rushed manner to the rabbit.

Curious as to what the commotion was all about, Gareki crept a little further out of the wood to listen, The rabbit removed a letter, which looked almost comically large due to its carriers small size, out of its pocket and handed it over to the sheep, saying in its mechanical, overly cute voice; "For the Duchess, an invitation from the Queen to play croquet." The sheep repeated, in the same mechanical, cute voice, only changing the words a little, "From the Queen, an invitation for the Duchess to play croquet."

Without any parting words or pleasantries, the rabbit quickly turned and ran back towards the woods, leaving the sheep standing outside the house, letter in hand.

Gareki marched towards the door, hoping this Duchess would be of any help to him, and knocked loudly.

"Theres no use knocking, no one is going to hear you." The sheep said to Gareki.

There certainly was a very loud noise coming from within the house; someone howling something about being cute and the occasional smash of a plate or glass being broken into pieces.

"Well then I'm going in without knocking." Gareki said to the sheep.

"But you already-" The sheep began but at that moment the door of the the house flew open, and a large plate came skimming out, flying straight at the head of the sheep. The plate barely missed its head and smashed into pieces against a tree behind it.

"-knocked so you can't go in without knocking." The sheep continued as if nothing had happened.

Gareki wondered if it was really worth going inside. However he shrugged off the incident with the plate as if it were a normal occurrence, he was growing desperate for the company of someone who didn't immediately piss him off. Gareki opened the door and walked inside.

The door led right into a large kitchen, of which the air was filled with smoke and… _glitter_?

A girl with thin braids sat on a three-legged stool in the middle of the room, nursing a small snowman like a baby. The cook, a tall woman with long, flowing, turquoise hair, was leaning over a pot on the stove staring into it with a very concerned face.

"This soup's not nearly pretty enough. Unlike you, Tsukumo…" Iva complained, throwing a few more handfuls of glitter into the mixture. Tsukumo continued nursing the snowman, ignoring Iva's raving about how cute she was today or about how the stupid cat never does anything around here.

"Cat? What cat?" Gareki thought before his eyes landed on a large yellow cat mascot with large feminine eyes, lying on its stomach behind the stool Tsukumo sat upon. "Even the stupid cat costumes here…" Gareki muttered.

Gareki's words had stolen Tsukumo's attention away from the snowman as before, she was so focused on it, she had not noticed his presence.

"Who are you?" She queried.

"Not this again…" Gareki muttered "No one, I'm no one. Why is Yogi in the stupid cat costume?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about and I will thank you kindly not to call my cat a 'Yogi'. Its name is 'Nyanperowna' and I am offended so if you call my cat a 'Yogi' again I will have your head removed."

Gareki didn't like the tone in Tsukumo's voice at all. Something was definitely wrong with her, she was sounding like Kiichi for christs sake.

Iva took the pot of soup off the stove, and at once set to work throwing everything in reach at Gareki and Tsukumo- the plates were first, followed by a shower of cutlery. Tsukumo took no notice of the airborne items when they hit her however Gareki was trying his hardest to dodge as many items as he could and in the process, accidentally trod on one of Nyanperowna's front felt his foot crushing Yogi's hand inside the suit which was followed by a very un catlike yelp which came from within the costume,

"Sorry Yogi." Gareki mumbled an apology to the cat costume clutching its front paw in pain.

"There! He said it again! Cut his head off!" Tsukumo shouted at Iva. Gareki glanced at Iva to see if she was about to follow through with the order that was barked at her. However, she was busily stirring the soup and seemed not to be listening, still rambling about how cute Tsukumo was.

"Here! You can hold him for a while, if you like!" Tsukumo said to Gareki, flinging Yukkin at him as she spoke, "I need to get ready for my game of croquet with the Queen." and with that she hurried out of the room. A handful of spoons were thrown after her as she went, but just missed her head.

Gareki caught Yukkin with some difficulty, as it was oddly shaped and had almost nothing to grab onto. The poor thing had been dressed in a frilly pink bonnet and wrapped in a baby's blanket. Gareki sat the snowman down on the stool and removed it of its humiliating dressings.

"Yukkin!" the snowman blushed as if it were thanking Gareki. Gareki wondered if snowmen could blush.

...Well apparently they did….

Gareki turned to leave the strange kitchen, only to be reminded of Iva's presence thanks to a glass filled with glittery soup smashing against the back of his head. Gareki's head hurt from the impact, however he didn't appear to be bleeding so he automatically assumed himself to be fine. The glitter, however, clung to his hair and coat, making him a sparkly (and slightly damp) mess.

Somehow unfazed from being hit, Gareki continued out into the fresh air. There was no use even trying to get help from those guys, they were all to… weird… There was something seriously wrong with Tsukumo for her to be acting like Kiichi. Gareki began to wonder if it was worth going back in there, when he was startled by the sight of Yogi sitting in a tree, not far from where he was.

Yogi grinned when he saw Gareki. Despite the fact that Yogi was… well… Yogi, He still looked like himself. He still looked like the normal Yogi.

"Yogi," Gareki began, hoping he wouldn't do anything weird. However, he only grinned wider at the sound of his name. "Could you maybe tell me where we are right now…?" Gareki was struggling to hide the fact that he was a little nervous around Yogi.

Yogi jumped down from his tree and ran at Gareki, tackling him into a hug.

"Wonderland. We're in wonderland…"

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**AN: oh hi there... In the next chapter I will try my hardest not to get it all Yaoiish. HOWEVER I can't promise no minor BL. Couldn't think of a good name for this chapter. Next chapter; A mad tea party**


	5. A Mad Tea Party

**AN: Oh hi there, it's been a while. Sorry about the whole 'taking a month to update 1 crappy chapter' thing. I can explain though. I wrote a few of the chapters in advance and then lost the book I had wrote them in. Anyway, Thanks again to Salt-The-Catgirl for yknow... everything... again :) Also thanks to ForeverSavior for the kind words, don't worry, I got what you meant :D Yes, the caterpillar was Karoku, I guess I set this before Gareki knew what Karoku looked like. The Queen is going to be somewhat of a surprise but you have guessed it already. **

**In this chapter;**

**Mad Hatter: Hirito**

**March Hare: Tsukitachi**

**Doormouse: Akari**

* * *

"GET OFF OF ME!" Gareki yelled, trying to push the clingy blonde off of him.

"I'm so glad you're okay!" Yogi grinned, pulling Gareki in tighter.

Gareki was growling at the blonde, arms stupidly flailing and pushing on the blondes chest, desperately trying to escape from the vice-like grip that held him in an embrace. "Get off!" Gareki commanded the blonde again. After several minutes of being tightly locked in an awkward, painful hug, Gareki managed to free himself from Yogi's death grip. Panting slightly and clutching his stomach in pain from being tackled, Gareki eventually managed to find his balance.

"You… said something… about… wonderland?" Gareki managed between short breaths. "Where the hell… is wonderland?"

"Here is wonderland." Yogi answered shortly.

_"No shit…"_ Gareki thought, already growing annoyed at the blonde.

"Whatever, where do I go from here?" Gareki asked impatiently.

Yogi paused for a few moments, obviously thinking of what to answer, "I guess that depends on where it is you want to go…"

Where exactly did Gareki want to go? Now that he thought about it, it wasn't like he could just walk through some door and find himself back on the ship. "I don't care where-" started Gareki.

"Then it doesn't really matter which way you go" interrupted Yogi.

"-so long as I get somewhere." Gareki added as explanation.

"Well, you might want to try the man who lives in that direction," Yogi grinned, pointing to a path leading to the right. "Or you might want to try the man who lives in _that _direction instead." Yogi pointed to the path leading in the opposite direction. "But it doesn't really matter which one you visit, they're both completely mad, _and kind of mean…_"

"Mad?" Gareki speculated.

"Yeah! They're mean too! They always tease me and their friend is scary and this one time he made me cry!" Yogi wailed, his grin faltering for a few moments before growing twice as bright. "Then again, we're all mad here. You're mad. I'm mad. Everyone is."

_Well that explained Tsukumo and Eva... _

"Wait, how am I mad?" Gareki demanded.

"You must be," Yogi replied, "or else you wouldn't have come here"

"Maybe I haven't died but instead I've gone crazy. I knew I said those circus freaks were driving me mad, but I didn't expect it to actually happen!" Gareki thought, regaining his composure.

"Right. Which way is the man that's the least nuts?"

There was a long table set out under a tree in front of the small cottage. Three men were sitting at the table, two of which seemed to be having some kind of tea, the third was sitting between them, fast asleep, and the other two were using him as a cushion, resting their elbows on his back and talking over his head.

The table was very large and looked like it could accommodate the crew of at least both circus ships, but the three of them were crowded together in the corner of it. "No room!" they cried when they saw Gareki, who was being closely followed by a scared Yogi.

"There's plenty of room!" Gareki said indignantly as he sat down in a plush armchair at one end of the table, with Yogi quickly following in suit.

"Have some tea." one of the men said in an encouraging tone.

Gareki looked around the table which was filled with an assortment of clear glass bottles filled with different coloured liquids. Gareki eyed a grey tea cup filled with a suspicious brown liquid that didn't exactly look like tea. He picked up the cup and brought it to his nose for closer inspection. The powerful smell of something he had become somewhat accustomed to during his days in the slums overwhelmed him instantly.

"This isn't tea" Gareki gestured to his cup.

"Don't tell this guy" the man laughed, signalling to the man with slicked back pink hair who was fast asleep next to him. "We've been making him drink it and telling him it was tea!"

The man who had offered Gareki tea started poking the asleep man as if he were proving the man were truly unconscious..

"It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being invited" the second man spoke, his dark hair swaying slightly as he spoke, "And stop trying to wake Akari up, Tsukitachi." Tsukitachi held up his hands in apology.

The two men quarrelled for some time about the consequences of waking the sleeping, or rather 'unconscious' Akari before their argument turned down the path of which man had the nicer hat; "I know your top hat is a classic, Hirito, but I personally think my hat is more hatlike!" Tsukitachi stated, gesturing to the top of his head.

"You sir, are not even wearing a hat! In any case, let us ask the boy whose hat is the hattiest."

"But his hat is _terrible_! It's not even hatty in the slightest." Tsukitachi argued, pointing towards the goggles upon Gareki's head. "What could he know about hats?"

And as the men argued over whether or not Gareki's goggles could be considered to be even remotely 'hatty', a _very _confused Gareki turned to a mildly frightened Yogi; "I thought I told you to take me to the _not_ crazy one." he scolded.

"I already told you, they're all mad here! There is no _not crazy_ man anywhere…" Yogi whispered, trailing off when he noticed the silence.

"Ah Yogi! When did you get here?" Hirito teased, Gareki could feel Yogi tense from the question. "Tsukitachi, wake Akari up, would you? I bet Yogi would be glad to see him…"

If Yogi was tense before, he would probably be on the brink of imploding. It seemed Yogi's aversion to Hirito's suggestion allowed the men to share a few hearty laughs at Yogi's expense.

"Yogi! What day of the month is it?" Hirito asked, examining his pocket watch, noticeably suppressing a chuckle.

"Uh… It's the fourth, I think…"

"Two days wrong" Hirito sighed. "I told you the butter wouldn't suit the works!" he added, looking angrily at the red headed man beside him.

"It was the_ best _butter" Tsukitachi replied meekly.

"Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well," Hirito grumbled. "You shouldn't have put it in with the bread-knife."

Tsukitachi took the watch from Hirito, looking at it gloomily: he then dipped it in his cup of tea before examining it again, obviously unable to think of anything else to say other than "It really was the _best_ butter, you know…"

"Why would you have a watch that tells the day of the month and not the time of day?" Gareki asked, finally interrupting the strange men.

"Well I always know what time it is-"

"How so?" Gareki interrupted.

"Oh here we go now…" Tsukitachi grumbled, resting his elbow on the sleeping Akari's back.

"Well…" Hirito began, "A few months ago I had been inquiring for a meeting with the queen and she said it would be a waste of time, I can tell you right now how offended time would be to hear that. Anyway, I continued to persist in meeting with the queen and eventually she allowed it, she said that it was my way of killing time for her! Since then, time has been ignoring me and has been refusing to accept my apology for trying to kill it. Now it's 6 o'clock all the time and therefore it is _always_ tea time."

"Is that why there are so many 'tea' things set out?" Gareki asked.

"Exactly! Since it's always tea time, we never have time to wash things in between-"

"Why not get the sheep to do it?" Gareki interrupted, then looking at Tsukitachi, "Or the rabbits?"

"Suppose we change the subject," Tsukitachi interrupted, yawning. "I'm getting tired of this. I vote we get the boy to tell us a story."

"No." Gareki said flatly.

"Then Akari shall!" Tsukitachi cried, pinching Akari's side.

Akari opened his tired eyes and slowly sat up to gain his composure before spitting at the men "What now?"

"Tell us a story!" said Tsukitachi excitedly.

"And be quick about it" added Hirito, "or you'll be asleep before it's done"

Akari gave a somewhat defeated sigh before beginning; "Once upon a time there were three sisters and their names were Elsie, Lacie and Tillie; and they lived in the bottom of a well-"

"What did they survive on?" asked Gareki.

"They lived on treacle," Akari stated after thinking for a moment or two.

"How? They would have gotten sick, wouldn't they?" Gareki remarked.

"So they were," said Akari; "_very_ sick."

"Why did they live-" Gareki started to ask.

"Take some more tea" Tsukitachi interrupted Gareki, obviously trying to draw his attention away from the story.

"Why did they live in a well?" Gareki asked again, ignoring Tsukitachi's attempt to change the subject.

Akari took another few moments to think before he said "It was a treacle well"

"There's no such thing!" Gareki started but was quietened by a round of '_shhhhh_'s.

"These sisters, they were learning to draw… Treacle, they were drawing treacle, from the treacle well" Akari went on, yawning and running a hand through his hair; "in fact, they were learning to draw a lot of things- everything that begins with the letter M-"

"Why the letter M?" asked Gareki.

"Why not?" asked Hirito, silencing Gareki.

Akari had closed his eyes by this time and was quickly dozing off; but, being pinched on the nose by Hirito quickly woke him up, and so he went on; "-that begins with the letter M, such as mouse-traps, and the moon, and memory, and muchness-"

"I don't think-" Gareki started.

"Then you shouldn't talk, should you?" remarked Hirito.

That was all Gareki was going to stand for. Getting up as to walk off and quickly being copied by his tall, blonde shadow, Gareki was bid adieu by Hirito tipping his hat. Gareki quickly turned on his heel and walked away in disgust, though he did look back once or twice and decided he was not going to return to the table since the last time he glanced at them, the two awake men were awkwardly trying to balance empty bottles on Akari's sleeping head.

"At any rate, we are never going there again." Gareki growled to Yogi as they picked their way through the forest. "That was the stupidest and most pointless 'tea party' ever."

Yogi was completely silent during their trek through the forest, much to Gareki's pleasure, until they came upon a very curious tree with a door that led right into it. Since everything today had been some degree of curious, Gareki didn't once think twice about walking right through the door, what could be the harm of it, right? But Yogi seemed to disapprove of the idea of walking through strange doors. It took Gareki a while to coax (or threaten) Yogi into to finally climbing through the little door in the tree.

Once more, Gareki had found himself in the long hall, and not far from the little glass table. Adamant that he would manage better this time, he took the little key from the table and unlocked a different small door in the hallway (the key seemed to fit more than one lock in the hall), that led to what appeared to be a vast, beautiful garden. Gareki then had to force Yogi to drink some of the leftover liquid in the bottle labeled 'drink me' of which Gareki had placed on the table only hours earlier. It was peculiar to Gareki, seeing someone other than yourself shrink down to only a few inches high, netherless he followed suit shortly after and through the door they went.

The boys happened to find themselves in a beautiful garden, among the bright flower beds and cool fountains of what was the queen's croquet ground.

**AN: I cannot express in words how bad I am at writing (that was an accidentally the worst pun Ive ever made, oh lordy lord), thanks for putting up with me though. Also, Yogi's going to hang around for a bit.**


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